Hi Humans,
Again a lot of time has passed and things slowly evolve.
Its been 6 months since Matey died and there hasn't been too many weeks when I haven't cried for him/over him/about him. Theres been a house move, an attitude change, a nite course in Airbrushing and oh yeah, last Sunday I got a dog.
This little guy is a pre-owned puppy like Maton was, a run away we expect but no one claimed him. He ended up at the pound and was on death row until a rescue service took him and placed him in foster care, I saw his photo once and knew he might need me.
The bonding is taking its time but everyday he settles in a bit more, it must be hard on the little guy, his own house then the pound then six weeks in foster care and now here. I sure he is expecting another move. But we'll love him to pieces and he'll take control of us and have us jumping through hoops in no time.
I didn't want to move house but in hindsite its been a blessing, threw out a lots of detritus; years of dragging around crap that was of no use to man or beast. This house is smaller and its taken some time to make it feel mine but all in good time.
I get the feeling that this is the year for "slowly" my brain is having a bit of a sea change and as everything just drifts by I grab onto whats needed and let the rest wash past. well thats how it feels, usually I chop and change at the drop of a hat and impetuously decide to do or buy without rhyme or reason. Short attention span (or alzymers)
Well my minions, I given you way to much of my life. So until next time
Adios muchachas
Rabbit.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
My weakly update
OK so a week is four months in my world.
If you've been following, last time its was sad days at Rabbits hole. if you haven't been following please keep up. (Warning don't keep reading if you don't want to cry)
On Monday (15Th of Jan) we went back to the Dog Doc's, Matey was very quiet last nite and still hadn't eaten anything, what little bit of water he had he brought back up. The test results from Saturday were devastatingly, today's ultra sound was a knife in my heart.
I knew before we went there what the probable outcome would be, but as always I just kept thinking that everything will sort itself out, it's that worry about nothing that's got me to where I am today.
I was given two choices, I could take him home and let him pass away in two or three days or say goodbye to him how. Lets see. die of starvation and pain and have him for a few days longer or kill him right there. Now humans, will you please listen to me, I cant say this any clearer. don't love things, they'll only hurt later.
After a bit more discussion his Vet Danielle said she would leave us to ourselves for as long as we liked and I'm not sure if Maton knew what was happening, but I'm sure he wanted to be feeling better. I'd taken Matey there in his bestest blanket and he sat on that for about half an hour or more while we talked and cuddled and cried, I'd like to think he gave me a final kiss and permission to end his pain but he just lay there quietly while I stroked and kissed and talked to him.
I couldn't be there for that last moment, I so wanted to be there at the end and say goodbye but I knew that i couldn't and asked Danielle to call me in when he was gone. She wrapped him up so beautifully and tight in a piece of cheese cloth and then his blanket and brought him outside into their gardens to where i was, I couldn't talk and she said goodbye to me and Maton and said to come back and see her when I was ready.
I couldn't see him but I felt his outline through the cloth, I stood there cradling him for several minuets before we got into the car and drove to my mums house.
Maton is buried under a large tree at the back of her property and faces the house and gardens. I go to see him and talk to him each week and it hasn't gotten any easier, I still miss him like you couldn't imagine, there is so much guilt at what I could have done earlier but Danielle tries to assure me that there was no knowing. I still cry.
If you've been following, last time its was sad days at Rabbits hole. if you haven't been following please keep up. (Warning don't keep reading if you don't want to cry)
On Monday (15Th of Jan) we went back to the Dog Doc's, Matey was very quiet last nite and still hadn't eaten anything, what little bit of water he had he brought back up. The test results from Saturday were devastatingly, today's ultra sound was a knife in my heart.
I knew before we went there what the probable outcome would be, but as always I just kept thinking that everything will sort itself out, it's that worry about nothing that's got me to where I am today.
I was given two choices, I could take him home and let him pass away in two or three days or say goodbye to him how. Lets see. die of starvation and pain and have him for a few days longer or kill him right there. Now humans, will you please listen to me, I cant say this any clearer. don't love things, they'll only hurt later.
After a bit more discussion his Vet Danielle said she would leave us to ourselves for as long as we liked and I'm not sure if Maton knew what was happening, but I'm sure he wanted to be feeling better. I'd taken Matey there in his bestest blanket and he sat on that for about half an hour or more while we talked and cuddled and cried, I'd like to think he gave me a final kiss and permission to end his pain but he just lay there quietly while I stroked and kissed and talked to him.
I couldn't be there for that last moment, I so wanted to be there at the end and say goodbye but I knew that i couldn't and asked Danielle to call me in when he was gone. She wrapped him up so beautifully and tight in a piece of cheese cloth and then his blanket and brought him outside into their gardens to where i was, I couldn't talk and she said goodbye to me and Maton and said to come back and see her when I was ready.
I couldn't see him but I felt his outline through the cloth, I stood there cradling him for several minuets before we got into the car and drove to my mums house.
Maton is buried under a large tree at the back of her property and faces the house and gardens. I go to see him and talk to him each week and it hasn't gotten any easier, I still miss him like you couldn't imagine, there is so much guilt at what I could have done earlier but Danielle tries to assure me that there was no knowing. I still cry.
RUN FAST IN HEAVEN MY LITTLE MAN.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Little bit of good, Very much bad.
G'day Humans.
In regards to my last post, I did the good thing. I actually went outa my way to be nice to people. In my job I far exceeded my duty to customers , sourcing product on my own time and using my own petrol. And in the real world I smiled, I was pleasant, I, well to be exact I was excellent to others.
But, boy does that little blue bird of happiness shit on ya when you don't expect it.
As you've gathered from my blog I can tolerate people, I may even love a few, but I really love my boy. Now before you start thinking hmm, boy lover, stop right there. If you don't know, my boy is an eleven year old puppy named Maton.
Matey has been feeling a bit off for a couple of days and I took him to the dog mechanic on Friday for a quick service. After the preliminary poke and prod they were none the wiser and recommended I whip out the plastic and pay for a few blood test.
At just two and a half hundred who could say no, especially after already shelling out a G for a knee reconstruction seven years ago and six and a half biggies for a fractured tooth last November, they new it was a cert.
Yesterday I had one of the worst phone calls one could ever have. I'm sorry Mr Rabbit but!
Looks like all those years of hard drinking have taken their toll, Maton's liver and kidneys are giving out. I've never cried so much in my life, I rang all those who mater and cried some more, they've all been over and hugged and kissed him, I think everyone of them told him to stop being stupid and it'll all be alright. Tomorrow we have some more tests, an ultra sound to see whats broke. The Doc's warned me not to get my hopes up. Still crying.
This is the reason I keep telling people not to love anything living. it just fucking hurts too much.
In regards to my last post, I did the good thing. I actually went outa my way to be nice to people. In my job I far exceeded my duty to customers , sourcing product on my own time and using my own petrol. And in the real world I smiled, I was pleasant, I, well to be exact I was excellent to others.
But, boy does that little blue bird of happiness shit on ya when you don't expect it.
As you've gathered from my blog I can tolerate people, I may even love a few, but I really love my boy. Now before you start thinking hmm, boy lover, stop right there. If you don't know, my boy is an eleven year old puppy named Maton.
Matey has been feeling a bit off for a couple of days and I took him to the dog mechanic on Friday for a quick service. After the preliminary poke and prod they were none the wiser and recommended I whip out the plastic and pay for a few blood test.
At just two and a half hundred who could say no, especially after already shelling out a G for a knee reconstruction seven years ago and six and a half biggies for a fractured tooth last November, they new it was a cert.
Yesterday I had one of the worst phone calls one could ever have. I'm sorry Mr Rabbit but!
Looks like all those years of hard drinking have taken their toll, Maton's liver and kidneys are giving out. I've never cried so much in my life, I rang all those who mater and cried some more, they've all been over and hugged and kissed him, I think everyone of them told him to stop being stupid and it'll all be alright. Tomorrow we have some more tests, an ultra sound to see whats broke. The Doc's warned me not to get my hopes up. Still crying.
This is the reason I keep telling people not to love anything living. it just fucking hurts too much.
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