Rabbit. A new begining.

Hi Humans,
Again a lot of time has passed and things slowly evolve.

Its been 6 months since Matey died and there hasn't been too many weeks when I haven't cried for him/over him/about him. Theres been a house move, an attitude change, a nite course in Airbrushing and oh yeah, last Sunday I got a dog.

This little guy is a pre-owned puppy like Maton was, a run away we expect but no one claimed him. He ended up at the pound and was on death row until a rescue service took him and placed him in foster care, I saw his photo once and knew he might need me.

The bonding is taking its time but everyday he settles in a bit more, it must be hard on the little guy, his own house then the pound then six weeks in foster care and now here. I sure he is expecting another move. But we'll love him to pieces and he'll take control of us and have us jumping through hoops in no time.

I didn't want to move house but in hindsite its been a blessing, threw out a lots of detritus; years of dragging around crap that was of no use to man or beast. This house is smaller and its taken some time to make it feel mine but all in good time.

I get the feeling that this is the year for "slowly" my brain is having a bit of a sea change and as everything just drifts by I grab onto whats needed and let the rest wash past. well thats how it feels, usually I chop and change at the drop of a hat and impetuously decide to do or buy without rhyme or reason. Short attention span (or alzymers)

Well my minions, I given you way to much of my life. So until next time

Adios muchachas

Rabbit.

My weakly update

OK so a week is four months in my world.

If you've been following, last time its was sad days at Rabbits hole. if you haven't been following please keep up. (Warning don't keep reading if you don't want to cry)

On Monday (15Th of Jan) we went back to the Dog Doc's, Matey was very quiet last nite and still hadn't eaten anything, what little bit of water he had he brought back up. The test results from Saturday were devastatingly, today's ultra sound was a knife in my heart.

I knew before we went there what the probable outcome would be, but as always I just kept thinking that everything will sort itself out, it's that worry about nothing that's got me to where I am today.

I was given two choices, I could take him home and let him pass away in two or three days or say goodbye to him how. Lets see. die of starvation and pain and have him for a few days longer or kill him right there. Now humans, will you please listen to me, I cant say this any clearer. don't love things, they'll only hurt later.

After a bit more discussion his Vet Danielle said she would leave us to ourselves for as long as we liked and I'm not sure if Maton knew what was happening, but I'm sure he wanted to be feeling better. I'd taken Matey there in his bestest blanket and he sat on that for about half an hour or more while we talked and cuddled and cried, I'd like to think he gave me a final kiss and permission to end his pain but he just lay there quietly while I stroked and kissed and talked to him.

I couldn't be there for that last moment, I so wanted to be there at the end and say goodbye but I knew that i couldn't and asked Danielle to call me in when he was gone. She wrapped him up so beautifully and tight in a piece of cheese cloth and then his blanket and brought him outside into their gardens to where i was, I couldn't talk and she said goodbye to me and Maton and said to come back and see her when I was ready.

I couldn't see him but I felt his outline through the cloth, I stood there cradling him for several minuets before we got into the car and drove to my mums house.

Maton is buried under a large tree at the back of her property and faces the house and gardens. I go to see him and talk to him each week and it hasn't gotten any easier, I still miss him like you couldn't imagine, there is so much guilt at what I could have done earlier but Danielle tries to assure me that there was no knowing. I still cry.

RUN FAST IN HEAVEN MY LITTLE MAN.

Little bit of good, Very much bad.

G'day Humans.

In regards to my last post, I did the good thing. I actually went outa my way to be nice to people. In my job I far exceeded my duty to customers , sourcing product on my own time and using my own petrol. And in the real world I smiled, I was pleasant, I, well to be exact I was excellent to others.

But, boy does that little blue bird of happiness shit on ya when you don't expect it.
As you've gathered from my blog I can tolerate people, I may even love a few, but I really love my boy. Now before you start thinking hmm, boy lover, stop right there. If you don't know, my boy is an eleven year old puppy named Maton.

Matey has been feeling a bit off for a couple of days and I took him to the dog mechanic on Friday for a quick service. After the preliminary poke and prod they were none the wiser and recommended I whip out the plastic and pay for a few blood test.

At just two and a half hundred who could say no, especially after already shelling out a G for a knee reconstruction seven years ago and six and a half biggies for a fractured tooth last November, they new it was a cert.

Yesterday I had one of the worst phone calls one could ever have. I'm sorry Mr Rabbit but!

Looks like all those years of hard drinking have taken their toll, Maton's liver and kidneys are giving out. I've never cried so much in my life, I rang all those who mater and cried some more, they've all been over and hugged and kissed him, I think everyone of them told him to stop being stupid and it'll all be alright. Tomorrow we have some more tests, an ultra sound to see whats broke. The Doc's warned me not to get my hopes up. Still crying.

This is the reason I keep telling people not to love anything living. it just fucking hurts too much.

Oh it's Nice Week 2006

Christ, it's been a big year for my blogg'n, as you can tell. This will only be my third post for the year and I'm sure I only did my chrisy one like yesterday.

Ah well, anyway unfortunately its that one week of the year when I choose to be nice to people, (and me working in retail too) So I am not going to bag out all the misserable son's (and daughters) of K9 maternal parentage. The ones who also hate christmas and all it stands for, but still keep up the pretense with all that 'peace on earth, good will to man' carp. (I'm being nice)

I hear that this is actualy the season to suicide, more lonely guys and gals top themselves this time of years due to the pressure of not being able to provide, or just can't bear to see the gathered outlaws, or even have exactly zero of the population to share the big scam with.

So in my week of yule nice-itude, I want all of you, in a very Bill and Ted kind of moment, to be excellent to each other. I know I will.

Merry seasonal wishes and goodbye 2006 The Fat Rabbit.

Valentine's Day Massacre

Yep, time to feel sorry for ones self again. Just me and the pooch at home again no chocolates or flowers too-ing or fro-ing between persons of an opposite persuasonage.

Being a human hater has a decidely shitty side when certain calendic events take place, you know the ones; birthdays, christmases, saturday nights, or basically any day with an 'A' in it is a bit of a bummer when you want to do that romantic lovey dovey horizontal hopontopofus kinder thing.

A rod for my own back is what I'm hearing from those reasonably close to me, not close enough to do the hot and squishy of course and its not actually a rod i'd be wanting I'll tell ya, I'd be after a Rodette just to get things straight (when I can't actually get things straight if ya following)

Think I might still buy some flowers and chockies anyway, never know your luck, stranger things have happened and whats the worst that could happen? flowers wilt and the dog eats the choc's and I fall asleep in front of the nonsence box.

Just another days to cross off the calender anyway.

Buy Humans.

And again we start with an "its been so Long."

It's been so long since I posted, (again)
But you know what the funny thing is, everyday I am doing something and/or I think of something that I want to add here, I write my self a little note or even compose a full page to add when I get back to my computer but I never actually Blogg it.

Its a shame that you can't read my mind as I have a very complex, witty and inspiring virtual Blogg going on in there. Yeah, all right it’s behind that very dark cob-webby scary human hating lump of everydayness that I battle with, but it is in there.

It’s quite beautiful actually, very light and airy; a bit 60's hippy floral if you will, children on swings, dogs running around. OK OK there are no children. Repeat, there are no children. But there is dogs, puppies as far as the eye can see. Sorry got a bit lost then, coming back to reality now.

Aww no, now we're in the dark bit, choppers; I can hear choppers, its still 60's I can tell by the music, but its so hot. Running, there's lots of running, I dont do running this is really turning into a nightmare, its China Beach meets Bambi. see what happens when you bring children into it.

Deep breaths, deeep breaths; we're all good here everything OK. fwew that was close, had a bit of a Nam flashback thing going on, which is strange as I'm not old enough for 'Nam' and too old for Bambi as it turns out.

Time to leave the brain world me thinks, I shouldn't meddle with things I know nothing about, mr computer wouldn't scare me like that, he's my freind, he's warm and hums to me.

They tell me I have to go lay down now.

Later People.

Negative Man

Not today my good persons, not today am I going to be Negative Man.
Today I am light and sweetness. Today I'm everyone's friend. A friend to man and beast alike for Christmas is upon us and I am all things giving.

Now before I hear you becry the words hypocrite, charlatan or even dare I say Liar, allow me to educate you to my reason if not my rhyme. I am of course an educated man, a man of letters (my favorites being; R, I, A, quickly followed by 'hansom man'. But I digress) for I have allowed myself the luxury of niceness for a one week period which we will call One Week in December BC (before Christmas) and in this week I will not think nasty on anyone.

I sit here now with a coffee, one of the things that make me truly believe there is at least one god. Coffee is one of those marvels of life, its makes me happy, takes away my headaches, lets me drift off to tropical climes amid the sounds of tribal drums pounding a staccato of, drink me pretty people; drink of my toasty goodness (or is that just an ad I have stuck in my scull?)

Coffee really is one of my favorite smells though, along with frying bacon and freshly baked bread. I don't know why but it has that homely earthiness to it, which is funny because I can't say I remember those smells from my own childhood.

Mind you I can't remember very much of my childhood at all. Either I have reasons to have blocked it out or if as I suspect I was never a child. Born at the age of sixteen to a poor family, life was a struggle for a spotty fattish adolescent who's parents dressed him as a baby. Nah maybe not.

Well anyway that is my plan, I am the NICE GUY, I will report my progress here and regale you with stories of the great deeds I done onto others and the non nastiness I have spread.

until then, have a wonderful and rich week

Happy Rabbit.

Back to basics

Hya Humans.

I seemed to have drifted a bit of late, my rantings are less rantier and there appears no meat in my message, I've gone soft.

No more. Its pith you will be getting, opinion by the stuffed throatful, bile by the.. by the.. umm bile ductfull. Having said all that, all I'm gonna give you is just a list today.

The what really shits me for 2005 list.

• Political Parties, there is no "party" in Party. An oxymoron if I ever saw one, but more moron than ox I'd say. The factionised system we have in Australia just doesn't work, especially when you only have two points of view; the Liberal its WHITE as in hooded sheet white and the Labour its BLACK as in we are all going to die its all so bleak black. Come on guys give us an alternative or at least an opinion that didn't come from the doctors of spin.
• terrorists didn't create everything in the universe that is bad so far this century, they can not be blamed for every bump in the nite and we don't need a gung ho government response that takes away our liberties with every new decision. We are creating a decision making machine that over responds and manipulates the facts for its own purposes and blames it on unrelated "it might happen here" speculation (you can almost see a gleeful John Howard rubbing his tiny little hands together with every new hint of calamity. "oh boy more 50's regulation and repression for you")
  
• Television from hell, the commercial networks are treating us like they have an monopoly of our time. Oh forget I started this comment I forgot they do, a thousand apologies mr's Murdoch and Packer. Well that bloody pay TV service is a disaster anyway, more ads than all the free to air networks put together, what Packer and Murdoch have big stakes in that as well, I'll just shut up then OK.
  
• Princess Mary, no no no, we still don't have an Australian Prince. Denmark has a new prince, we got rid of a Tasmanian woman. Good luck to all.
  
• Those sick F@#$s in Sydney who tortured a small dog until it died, if I had unlimited funds I'd pay what ever it took to have them beaten to a pulp and left on their parents door steps. Why do so many animal torture stories come out of Sydney?
  
• Industrial reforms. We have Low unemployment, growing economy, stable interest rates, so why do we need to completely change what on the whole must be working. Oh yeah the big end of town wants more.
• Daryl Sommers, Australian Idol, survivor, Ronny Johns. etc, etc, etc THEY ARE ALL PUS

This is just a tempter I'll add to it as I think of stuff that I really hated this year, there is lots I promise you.

Well that your lot anyway.

Go off and be human somewhere and leave me out of it.

Rabbit

Politicide of a nation

Yeah Hi, yada yada yada.

I'm still on a semi politic bent this day, and I'll throw my opinion at ya. (for your benefit I may add)

Industrial reform !!!!
we're about to go through the biggest shakeup this country has seen in fifty years. The incumbent is going to smash apart what Unions (not all bad) and some very brave people have taken 100 yrs to put together, all in the name of progress and the betterment of the working stiff.

It wouldn't take too many fingers to be able to count how many positive industrial changes any conservative government has ever rushed through parliament. And just to give us some cake with our icecream, we are also going to foot the bill for an extremely exorbinent advertising campaign to tell us this is all for our benefits and is for the worker not the bosses.

Now I have been called a cinic in the past but come on, what an entirely opportunistic time to bulldoze it through parliment.

• We have no effective opposition party, which is sadder than it first appears, because the opposition party is the political arm of the union movement in this country and is so quiet on this matter it is frightening.
• The current feeling amongst your average voter is one of dont rock the boat, they are blinded by a feeling of inpending doom, with terrorist attacks forcast for our shores, inflated petrol prices, eninant tax hikes, a falling property market and with just about everybody financialy streched to the max.
• The union movement have so distanced them self from the average family and seem so radical to a generation who have had it so good because of them, that they seem irrelevent.
• I really get the feeling that a lot of people just dont have the energy left to argue anymore, nobody want's to give their employer any reason to give them the flick. Its better to be a small target and not make a fuss.

A sad state of affairs indeed. While as a nation we all seem brash and loud yobs, actually we have always been a bit conservative under the skin, but I think in the past we have kept a pretty good balance. Not anymore though, a hush has fallen over the land, its with tails tucked firmly between legs we go about our business now.

And you know what the real sad thing is, in two or three or maybe more years time, when conditions are so erroded; some brave people will rebuild the union movement and start on an 100 year battle to get back what we have today.

Humans, Learn from history for F@#$ sake.

CYA (while I'm still allowed to write)

Now when I said we should..........

HMM I thinks me spoke too loud, Some bottom feeders just went boom again. A pre-emptive blogg? When I said maybe we should just blow the shit outa someone in my last blogg, I was being sarcastic guys.

I'm really not taking the piss, but I really don't know what to say that would not sound patronising, could be seen as important or significant, I don't think I need to be poignant and any sane person doesn't need to say what is an obvious sentiment, so I wont add my two cents worth (+GST in Australia) Apart from to say, you've just gotta feel for the people of Bali.

Its coming up to mid week when my favorite wordsmith (nah I cant do it, I hate this human, this cretin, this... this... now calm down, it'll be ok... aaagh) Sorry.
Andrew Bolt will be writing his pap piece for the Herald Sun and you can bet he'll

1. State some obvious,.
2. Chest thump how its now so important to close our borders to match our minds.
3. That we should listen to this great wise and protecting government that we have been blessed with.

Do your self a favor and click onto this site www.crikey.com.au. Its slightly unbiased, reasonably balanced, Much better than main stream and apart from a few personal vendetta's, covers the Australian climate pretty ok.

Well I'm gonna leave you with this small offering and say.

Cya Humans.

Around my head in thirty seconds.

Ok, OK. So I've been a bit tardy.
First I lost my old email address, then I forgot my login, ..... Then I ran out of excuses. CRAP... It took me about 2 emails and 30 seconds to re-establish contact with my Blog, so I guess it boils down to care factor.

But really I do care and I do want to write more, you lil people out there deserve more of me and it's my duty to lavish it upon you all. (Hmmm that's the best I've got for you, from 6 months of not posting, sad aint it?)

Don't know if you've noticed, but the world seemed to get even uglier in the past few months, every time I get gooey over something nice, some human goes and blows it. The stupidity of those we put in charge just beggars belief, although I'll stick to my mantra and scream "I didn't vote for the bastards". (note, I always hate that full stop after some other punctuation. Should it be there? Doesn't look right! God I anguish over the little things)

It spooks me sometimes to think that maybe I'm the odd one out and consensus says we should just blow the shit outa someone else, we should decimate a few trees because three guys in country whoop whoop need a job, we should kill any beast, bug, bush or bird; just because we can, or in South Park Speak "It was going to attacked me first"

Note to all those swimming around the wet edges of Australia, "that's where sharks and crocodiles live, yes they bite. No, you are the one with the large brain, use the F@#king thing.

I've discovered a very important rule in politics recently, one which should help me when I finally get up the courage and decide to run the world (or just the interesting bits at least) When everyone says, "don't do it, your just digging a hole for yourself". Start digging and dig fast and frequently and when you are so far down, so deep, everyone then says "well we have to do it now, it would be stupid to stop and leave it like this". Instant consensus. (I should be charging you for this stuff, you know that don't you?)

Well my thirty seconds are up, I'll write at ya's real soon I promise.

Cya Humans.

One Wallow does not a summer make.

Yeah I know bad pun on this title, but I'm still having a go at self pity for a few more days yet.
Actually I'm starting to find the going a bit easier this week, I'm still rather pissed off at myself for the way I"m feeling, but as they say time heals all fools. (well I said it anyway)

At times I think I expect too much from my friends and don't hold myself up to the same standards. I talk up the fact that I don't care about relationships, or that I'm single by choice but I'm starting to think that my defenses are crumbling. Maybe I care a bit too much.

Friendship is a double edged sword, I want my friends to be exclusive to me, when I'm not there they should be in a sort of limbo just waiting for my needs. Now don't get me wrong (again) my friends aren't all single and lonely, 99.827% are in relationships and I'm very happy with that. But... I hate those buts. I still have no answer to those fluttery feelings in my gut when I think too hard about this changed situation.

Anyway this is the last that I will be thinking, talking, typing, philosophizing about this topic. I'm over it. Back to normal nastyness from here on.

Cya Humans.