Yeah I know bad pun on this title, but I'm still having a go at self pity for a few more days yet.
Actually I'm starting to find the going a bit easier this week, I'm still rather pissed off at myself for the way I"m feeling, but as they say time heals all fools. (well I said it anyway)
At times I think I expect too much from my friends and don't hold myself up to the same standards. I talk up the fact that I don't care about relationships, or that I'm single by choice but I'm starting to think that my defenses are crumbling. Maybe I care a bit too much.
Friendship is a double edged sword, I want my friends to be exclusive to me, when I'm not there they should be in a sort of limbo just waiting for my needs. Now don't get me wrong (again) my friends aren't all single and lonely, 99.827% are in relationships and I'm very happy with that. But... I hate those buts. I still have no answer to those fluttery feelings in my gut when I think too hard about this changed situation.
Anyway this is the last that I will be thinking, talking, typing, philosophizing about this topic. I'm over it. Back to normal nastyness from here on.
Cya Humans.
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